At the funeral home, one of the things we often do is help families write the obituaries for their loved ones.  We start with a basic template and fill in the details of the person’s life.  Often, someone in the family with a flair for writing will add more personal information and creative touches to the document.  The whole undertaking is part creation of a public document and also a process of “taking stock”- taking stock of what the family will remember, what mattered most to this person, and what were the highlights of their life.  An obituary is a snapshot (indeed, there’s usually a photograph attached to it) and it can be a very cathartic process for those closest to the person to participate in creating it. 

But I’d like to pose a question to you - what if you wrote your own obituary?  What if you wrote it right now?  Today?  How would you sum up your life thus far?  What would be the highlights?  As you look back, what would you say has mattered most and what’s been most meaningful?  If you could write any last words to the people you love, what would they be?  To whom might you express gratitude and to whom might you impart advice? 

When I have posed this question to people, that is, “what if you wote your own obituary?” I am often met with shock and horror.  I, too, would have shaken my head and found the whole idea pretty crazy not that many years ago.  But the older I get and the more people I lose, the more I am acutely aware of the inevitability of my own demise.  And rather than keeping that knowledge in the back of my mind, I find that the more I keep it in the front (ish), the more I appreciate the time I have and the fact that I’m still here. 

And so, for those who are willing to consider it or maybe even give it a try, writing your own obituary is an exercise.  It’s an exercise in acknowledging your mortality.  For the person doing the writing, this can be a pretty emotional and cathartic experience.  And yet…and yet, there is such deep peace to be found in it.  There is such deep peace to be found in the process of sifting through your life to decide for yourself what has held up on the journey and what has not, what’s worth saving and what’s worth letting go, what’s important to mention and what’s not.  You get to decide and you create the snapshot. You get to paint the picture of your life and you can paint it any way you’d like! 

Here’s what I can tell you - I wrote my obituary 8 or so years ago.  As a result, I find that I fear my death much less and I am more present in my life on a daily basis.  I know what will be published about me because I wrote it myself.  My children can add to it if they’d like and that’s fine but the basic gist of it is from my heart and those are the final words that anyone will ever hear from me - at least in this realm! If you like to do introspective or spiritual/emotional growth work, this is as good as it gets.  It’s one heck of an assignment and the payoff is powerful!   

If you're curious or are looking for inspiration, here are links to some wonderful obituaries written by the actual person before he or she died: 

This one is beautiful - Jane Catherine Lotter - 2013 

https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/seattletimes/name/jane-lotter-obituary?id=13178192

This one is funny - Val Patterson - 2012 https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/saltlaketribune/name/val-patterson-obituary?n=val-patterson&pid=158526785

This one is moving - John A. Hottell - 1970 (Scroll all the way down the page to read the obituary he wrote before he shipped off to Vietnam.) 

https://www.west-point.org/users/usma1964/24930/