Despite what many people think, there are no rules when it comes to holding or creating a funeral or memorial service for someone you loved.  None.  I have officiated services in churches and funeral homes, in parks and country clubs, under tents in fields, and in living rooms and backyards. 

As a celebrant, when working with a family who has lost someone, I specialize in “no rules” and nothing makes me happier than when people get to create a service that truly celebrates the life of their loved one and that gives them a meaningful and unique way to grieve. 

Here are a few examples of things I have witnessed or helped facilitate: 



• The telling of jokes at the graveside for a man who was a joker his whole life. 
• The decorating of a plain pine box with poems, drawings, and “good-byes” before the service for a man who was killed in an accident. 
• The “boy scout salute” by those in attendance for a man who had volunteered for decades with the boy scouts. 
• The playing of “favorite songs” as part of the service - in some cases, “Bohemian Rhapsody,” Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New York,” and even the “Electric Slide.” 
• The wearing of Hawaiian shirts by those in attendance or that of the deceased person’s favorite sports team. 
• The telling of favorite stories and memories of the person who has died - sometimes this is one part of the service, sometimes the whole thing. 
• The use of flower petals, balls of yarn, candles, and/or bowls of water to create moments of remembrance, release, and connection with the person who died and the people present. 

I could go on and on.  The point is, a funeral or memorial service need not be anything like the ones you have attended in the past.  When you work with a celebrant you have a “say” and you get to create something in which the life of your person is front and center, not an afterthought.  I wish for that opportunity for everyone.  I wish for the opportunity for each person to experience the “Celebration of Life” that both they and their loved one deserves.  Even if, especially if, it means playing the “Electric Slide.”